To Become Like Little Children

This is an essay I wrote about a year ago. It marks a point in my journey of discovering how to be the person God made me to be.

What is worship? 

Before I had children, I thought worship was the amazing feeling I got when I sang at my piano, or the awe-inspired prayer that I would whisper on a mountaintop. These were the moments when the world around me melted away and I felt a connection with God unlike any other.

When I became a mother, diapers and laundry suddenly took the place of music and forests. Children filled my hours with activity, noise and demands, and I found that I had a harder time getting into a place of worship. I knew I needed it more than ever, but I did not have the time and space like I used to.

So I tried to find ways to incorporate worship into my daily tasks. I read books that taught how washing dishes can be a form of worship, meditating on the words of First Corinthians 10:31, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” But something was still lacking, no matter how many dishes I washed!

Somehow, my heart resonated the best with God’s heart through music and nature.

Then I tried to incorporate my children into my worship time. Could I bring my kids camping or hiking? There were regional parks nearby, but nothing within an hour. And with young children, it would be difficult to keep an eye on them or work around their nap schedules.

Well, how about music? A minute after I sit down at the piano, almost always a child would call for my help. Or I would hear little fingers pressing (or pounding) on the piano keys. Or worse yet, a child would insist “It’s my turn now” while pushing my hands away from the piano.

I admit that I made excuses. My pride told me that the piano was not worth playing if I could not play it properly. The outdoors were not the “real” outdoors if I could not get away from the cities and towns. Soon, it became easy to simply go through the motions of housework day after day. As long as the household ran smoothly, what more did I need? I fell into bed every night, feeling accomplished because I was able to check things off my list. But the joy, the reason for my actions, was not there. My soul needed nourishment, but what I was feeding it were imbalanced meals. God designed me specifically to worship Him through nature and music, and I was ignoring that part of me.

My malnourishment eventually caught up with me. I became a tired, grumpy, frustrated mother of three. At the time, my family attended a small church, so oftentimes I was the sole nursery volunteer. Because I could not worship in song even on Sundays, I started to be resentful of everyone, especially my children. It took a few years for me to realize that the root of the problem was that I was spiritually hungry, that I had been feeding on crumbs for too long.

Which brought me back to my original question, What is worship? 

“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3) These are the words of Jesus, a lover of children. He pointed me to the inspiration that was right in front of me! I needed to look to my children, not away, because they had something to teach me about worship. My son runs to show me a bug. My daughter plays a few notes on the piano, and cries out, “Listen to my song!” And a meal I would call simple, my children would call a feast. Their awe and wonder over the little things reminded me that I was lacking an essential element of worship: humility. The focus should not be on me, but on God. He wants me to worship Him even if my song is not perfect, and even if I can only go into the backyard to admire the dandelions on the lawn.

My children have taught me that all of God’s creation is good, and I need to humble myself and worship Him wholly. I have also learned that yes, worship is not exclusive to music or nature, but neither do I need to ignore the part of me that truly enjoys those things. By embracing the mothering role God gave me, and also embracing the person God designed me to be, I am worshipping Him, because I am devoting my entire being to His glory.

So, I ask myself again, What is worship? Worship is giving highest worth to someone or something. It is not a matter of what one does, but how and why one does it. The most eloquent prayer, the most beautiful song, the dishes even…none of it would be worship if done with the wrong heart. But every second I breathe can be worship, if the purpose of everything I do is to give God great value.

Now, my favorite part of motherhood is worshipping with my children. When I see a beautiful sunset or flower in bloom, I call a child over to admire God’s handiwork. When a child joins me at the piano, I start singing a worship song. I love hearing my child call “Mama, come and see this! The sky’s on fire!” and eavesdropping on my children as they sing hymns in the midst of play. I am teaching my children to give God the worth He deserves, and they in turn are teaching me to become like a child again.

This article was published by Christianity Today's website for women, Kyria.com. To view this and other wonderful, relevant articles, go to I Was Made to Worship.