He is Trustworthy

I shared in my last post that I had had a friend in the hospital. Beautiful, strong, kind-hearted, joyful Sarah had given birth to her second child via C-section, then found herself back in the hospital with two aggressive infections driving her body to the brink of death. I received the news while out of town, but even if I was home, there was little I could do but keep my hands occupied and try not to constantly check the phone for texts or my e-mail for updates. My mind went between earnest prayer and doubtful questions, as I wrestled with God and the possibility that He could choose to take Sarah home, leaving her husband with a ten-day-old daughter and fifteen-month-old son.

I remember feeling this way as a child.

"You can ask God for anything," my Sunday School teacher had told me, "and He will always listen."

And so I prayed, expecting with my child-like faith that God would say 'yes' to everything I asked Him. But when He didn't, my heart and my trust broke a little, like when one discovers that a friend had not kept a promise. I began to pray with the expectation that God would always say 'no', and in my heart, I believed in me more than I believed in miracles.

I have since learned through many broken hearts and many 'unanswered' prayers that God is sovereign. Despite my perception of what is right and best, God has proven himself to be trustworthy. So many of my prayers, if answered according to my wishes, would have been harmful to me and many others. My heart knows this now. And though I don't always understand God's ways, I can say after my most recent wrestling match with God that my child-like faith has returned, even during the most difficult of times.

My prayer for Sarah is now a prayer of thanksgiving. She is not completely healed yet, but we have already witnessed many miracles in her recovery. Yes, God does answer prayers. He is trustworthy, and He is good.