The Overlap of Heritage and Faith

I recently met a couple who asked about my wedding. Their son is engaged to a young Chinese women, and in the wedding planning process, the family is uncovering the many differences between American and Chinese wedding expectations.

"Should we have a Chinese banquet?"

"Should the bride wear a white dress or a red dress?"

"Is the groom's family expected to pay for the wedding?!"

I answered their questions as clearly as I could, but this wasn't a topic that I've encountered in conversation before. My wedding was simple and traditional in many ways. I wore a white dress and veil, held a bouquet, had my father escort me down the aisle. I wasn't ignoring my Chinese heritage, but instead, focusing on honoring God and our families. We took Communion. We invited our guests to sing our favorite worship songs with us. We chose to have a dessert reception (with all food made by friends) to save money. And on my cake (also made by a friend) was the little cross that my parents had on their wedding cake. After cutting the cake, my husband and I fed each other with chopsticks.

I don't regret my wedding, but could I have done things differently? How can I answer people the next time this topic comes up? More importantly, how can I find  answers to my questions about the overlap of cultural heritage and faith?

Maybe you, my reader, can help me.

In most countries, to no longer follow a cultural tradition is to make a stand for Christ. Christians in the United States have a unique problem, because the popular view is to take pride in one's culture and to embrace one's past. So exactly how much of one's culture do we embrace, when there are traditions that are rooted in superstition or other religious beliefs?

For example, Chinese New Year is a grand celebration involving fire crackers, lion dancers, and good food. People pray to the Kitchen God and make noise to scare away evil spirits. Much of the sayings are to wish people good fortune and wealth, and much of the food are also symbolic of good fortune and wealth. So can I, in good conscience, celebrate Chinese New Year? Obviously, I should not pray to the Kitchen God, but can I accept red envelopes and take my children to see the lion dances?

Someday, I want to travel to China and interview the Christians there. I want to ask them about the choices they made after becoming Christians, and how it felt to be accused of becoming "Westernized" or rejecting their ancestors. If any of my international readers have insight, I would love to hear it!