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Mediocre.

Somedays, I feel mediocre at best. Mediocre mom, mediocre wife, mediocre teacher, mediocre musician…

On Saturday, as I prepared some music for a Sunday wedding, I felt mediocre. This was to be the wedding of two stellar musicians, with stellar musical families and friends, and I was trying to improvise love songs off lead sheets the day before.

I arrived at church on Sunday still feeling mediocre. Seeing another woman, due in September two days after me, looking tall, skinny, and stunning, reminded me of my mediocrity. Listening to the worship team on the stage added to that feeling. I was slowly and unknowingly sinking into a tar pit from which I would have difficulty escaping, if not for Simon, called Peter.

Simon Peter, a mediocre, fiery, impetuous fisherman, who always seemed to say the wrong thing. 

Simon Peter, called by Jesus to be one of the Twelve. And even the Twelve couldn't help but fight for supremacy, wanting to be the best disciple, the greatest in the kingdom, the most-loved of Jesus. (See Mark 10:35-44)

Simon Peter, who denied Jesus three times, after he had boasted that he would NEVER leave Jesus's side.

Yet Jesus still said to Simon Peter after His resurrection, "Follow me. Follow me even to your death." Peter, still very much his mediocre self, responded with, "Lord, what about that guy, John?" 

Jesus's answer? It's not about John, or Luke, or any other disciple. It's about you and your love for me. You must follow me. (See John 21:21-22)

And that was how I was called out of my tar pit, called to be like Simon Peter-- not to be the best, not to boast and compare-- called to follow, today, tomorrow, the next day, down my own path, whether I feel mediocre or not.