The Calm in the Storm

This afternoon, I was standing in line with my shopping cart full of food, at least what food I could still find on the half-empty shelves. All around me were other families doing the same. The lines stretched into the aisles, but no one was pushing or yelling. In fact, people were calm and polite, some quiet, some laughing, some making conversation with strangers.

But I felt so tired. It had been such a strange few days. I just wanted to get some food to feed my brood. Being surrounded by people in crisis made me want to cry and I didn't know why.

Suddenly, an image filled my mind. It was a scene from the book "Tales of the Restoration", by David and Karen Mains. In a midst of a riot in the city, in which citizens were throwing mud at each other, a man quietly appeared.

...the man was wearing working-man's dungarees, a flannel shirt, a hardhat, and steel-toed boots. As the boy watched, the street cleaner said nothing. He scarcely glanced about him, but just kept cleaning and sweeping and shoveling the mess. 

A fistful of mud hit the man in the chest. He neither shouted in anger or threw the dirt back at the crowd; he didn't even wipe the filth from his shirt.

The boy in the story soon realized that the man was Jesus. Jesus is the peace in the midst of the storm; even better, He is the one who calms all storms.

This afternoon, as I stood in line with my shopping cart full of food, I closed my eyes and rested on this image. I imagined Jesus walking through the grocery store and bringing a peace-that-passes-understanding with him. I prayed for Jesus to calm the storm in my heart, that His peace would fill me, so that I could pass it on to others.

I realize now why I feel so tired. I've always felt others' pain very strongly, and every story I heard about people dying, children not getting fed because schools are closing, the elderly not having toilet paper, small businesses being in danger is like a boulder on my shoulder. Being in a store full of people "in panic" (as calm as we all were) was like an avalanche on my soul.

And so I've been reading and re-reading these words from Psalm 18:

I love you, O Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock, and my fortress and my deliverer;

my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,

my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

This is the verse on my chalkboard right now. As my family lives in close quarters for the next few weeks, this will be our reminder that it is not these physical walls that protect us, but our God.

7 Ways to Make Every Day More Romantic

1) Share the story of how you met, and share it often. Share it with your children. Share it with your friends. Share it with other couples. Then ask the couple how they met!

2) Speak highly of your spouse. Compliment your spouse in front of him/her AND when he/she is not around. Praise your spouse in front of your children, your family, your neighbors, your co-workers.

3) Don't speak poorly of your spouse when he/she is not around. Praising your spouse one minute, then putting him/her down the next, does not build up your marriage.

4) Surprise your spouse with little things. Leave a note under the pillow. Do a chore that your spouse usually does. Bring home a treat when you have a chance to go out.

5) Hold hands. Sometimes, if your hands are full with children, chores,  and activities, the only time you have to hold hands is when you are lying wearily in bed together. But even so, you are making a connection, both physical and emotional.

6) Put down the phone and talk. You and your spouse may be sitting in the same room, but if you're looking at screens, then you're not really together. Turn off the computer, the TV, the phone, etc.

7) Be the first to say "I'm sorry." By this, I don't mean kowtowing and saying "Yes, yes, you're right, I'm wrong" all the time. After a disagreement or argument, ask yourself, "Was I unkind at all?" Maybe you yelled, or used a sarcastic tone, or were accusatory. Apologize for your wrong actions.

Growth

During a piano lesson one day, I was thinking about recitals and how far each of my students have come, when I recalled an incident from my years as a high school teacher.

It was my second year of teaching and I had been put in charge of the musical performances for graduation. No big deal. At the small private school I was teaching, I knew each senior by name and already knew who the strong singers were.

Then a senior named Kate approached me. She was friendly, gentle and kind, a girl who was content to be in the background. A quiet leader, I called her. She was a great role model in her class, and though not considered one of the "popular" students, she was loved by all. She had been doing some singing with me, and when she asked if she could sing at graduation, I said enthusiastically, "Yes!" She wasn't a strong singer, but I didn't make my decision based on that; I made it based on her character.

And then it was my job to stand up for my decision. With barely two years of experience under my belt, some other teachers felt that I shouldn't have made that call, but I stood by Kate. I knew how she'd grown the past year. I knew the courage it took for her to even get up on a stage. I knew that the song she was singing may not sound as good as some other girl singing it, but it would have more meaning. 

We still live in a culture that pressures us to look a certain way or act a certain way. We see photos of "the rich and famous" and aspire to be like them. We want to impress people, or we want our children to impress people. We compare, measure, and compare some more. But-

it is not the face you show the world for 5 minutes that counts,

it's who you are consistently when no one is watching.

it's not always the end goal that matters most,

it's also the journey you took to get there.

Growth is not looking at a tree and saying, "Wow! Look how tall it is!"

Growth is looking at a tree and saying, "Wow! That used to be a tiny seed! Look how tall it's become!"

2020 and Beyond

I'm not into New Year's Resolutions. For me, resolutions are a year-round pursuit. I'm always needing improvement. 

That's why I've been working on a list. It's a list of reminders to myself when I am old and gray. And hopefully, not grumpy. I made the list because I want to start working on these things NOW, way before I become old and gray. This way, I have plenty of time to achieve my goals.

(And my friends who are reading this, you have every right to hold me to this, even when I'm 80!)

1) Don't be stubborn when you need help. Now, it may be help with the kids or the housework. Later, it will be help with driving, carrying bags, or even going to the bathroom. If help is offered, graciously accept it. If it is not, graciously ask for it. Listen to the advice of those who suggest changes. It may be for everyone's well-being.

2) Don't be jealous of your children's affections. Love demanded from the giver is not really love. When they are young, they prefer friends and toys. When they are old, they will be busy with their own lives. Be thankful if they are visiting friends or other family members or giving of their time to a good cause.

3) Love your husband and make the most of every moment. Be quick to say I'm sorry and be quick to forgive. This one will never change, no matter how old I am, or how many years I've been married.

4) Quality, not quantity. You may not be able to do as much as you used to, but you can still do it well. So do it with excellence, whether it is making a race car birthday cake for a 5-year-old or crocheting a baby blanket for an expected grandchild.

5) Don't be afraid to speak up when you have something to say. You're wiser now. But also know when to keep your mouth shut. Just because you know better than someone else doesn't mean it's the right time to say so. Show grace, especially to those younger than you. Remember what it was like to be in their shoes 10 years ago, 20 years ago, or 50 years ago.

6) Don't waste the time you have left. You may have days, you may have years. Either way, you're not dead yet. Love extravagantly, without expecting the love to be returned. Be the first to reach out to others. Be a role model. But remember #5.

7) Pray constantly and abide in the Word. There is nothing stronger, nothing deeper, nothing more life-changing. Don't underestimate what God can do in a person's life. No one, no matter how old, is a lost cause to God.

8) Be thankful. If you want to avoid becoming a grumpy, old woman, practice thankfulness every moment of every day.