A New Musical - Part 2 - Writing and Rewriting

 In the video on my last blog post, I noticed two mistakes.

1) I forgot to tell you the working title of the new musical! For now, I call it "In Miss Potter's Garden."

2) I said that I finished the musical this past summer. Really, what I should have said was that a shareable version of the musical was finished this past summer. I'm feeling good about the script and the songs, but this doesn't mean that the musical is finished! My next step is workshopping, which is when I get a group of actors to read through the script. I also play them the songs and ask them for honest feedback. 

Every time I've workshopped a show, I've heard lines that needed tweaking, or scenes that could be smoother, or songs that sounded too short (or too long). The actors always had some very important and helpful feedback to give as they were in the dual roles of both audience and players. After hearing their thoughts, I would go home excited to add to a scene or a song.

So I expect to do more rewriting. Writing is really about rewriting, and rewriting, and rewriting. I know that this musical will go through several versions before it is truly done, so I try my best not to hold on to any part of it too tightly (which is easier said than done!) And just so you can "see" what my writing process looks like, I'm sharing with you the pages of my notebook in a video.

(Background story: I used to write notes on random pieces of paper, and clip them together, which meant that my notes didn't always stay together. Then my friend "KW"– the director of my first musical– gave me a Christmas present of a set of small notebooks. I decided that I would use one whenever I started a new musical. And now all my scribbly notes are in one place!)

A New Musical - Part 1 - A New Seed of Inspiration!

 In 2022, I had written my first musical, Five Children and It, and blogged about it in a series titled "A Musical is Born!" The blog posts cover much of the production of the show, but very little of the writing process before that.

Since then, I've written a second musical and started two more. With high hopes of getting these musicals on stage, I decided to start sharing more about my writing process, before the musical is fully finished. A nerve-wrecking task, being the perfectionist that I am, but I'm pushing myself to do this. And to make me even more nervous, I'll be incorporating video, which is also a very new thing for me. (I'm a writer, not a videographer.) But with help from my adult children, I am now on Instagram and will be able to share songs through that medium (and also post the videos here!)

So, watch the video below to hear about what I'm working on right now!

 

The Unexpected Blessings of Being Stay-at-home with Older Children

I always knew that I wanted to stay home with my children. Then, when they were older, I'd go find a job somewhere. That was the plan.

And for the most part, I've stuck to that plan. On this blog I've written about the unexpected blessings of being home with my children. It's not just that I have more time with them and that I can homeschool. It's that they eat better (and more cheaply) and that we have flexibility in our day, instead of rushing out the door every morning.

Then, as my children grew, I began to get the itch to work outside of the home. I was already teaching piano part-time in our living room, but I wanted to be more influential in the community. The problem was that, at that point, I had older children, AND younger children. I started teaching music classes and working on shows, but I still limited my hours and stayed home in the daytime as much as possible. This was frustrating at times: I felt that I couldn't do as much as my friends with only older children, and at the same time I didn't have the more carefree days of being at home with only younger children. The feeling that I was just "spinning my wheels" hovered over me. I had to push that feeling aside and tell myself that being available for my family was better for my children, both young and old.

But I didn't realize ALL the benefits until this summer!

Being home means that I can be more hospitable. I have the energy to have guests over for dinner almost any day of the week. I have flexibility to cook someone a meal and deliver it. And the big plus–we have other kids over. This summer, we've had soooo many of my children's friends over. And for many of these kids, because they are older, their parents are working full-time and the kids are home all day, sometimes by themselves. They eagerly say 'yes' when we invite them to our house! I bake some cookies and pop some popcorn, and they all have a grand ol' time!

Another plus is that I've had more time with my adult children. My oldest daughter graduated from college and was home in between jobs. My second oldest daughter had summer school, but came home during breaks. My oldest son needed a ride to the airport to fly to visit his cousins, and I was able to take him in the middle of the day. These "babies" of mine still need guidance and support, and I'm able to be there for them.

Stay-at-home moms, I know sometimes you feel like you aren't doing enough (or that you're doing a lot, but it's the same, mundane routine day in and day out!), but you may be doing more than you know! Keep looking for ways you can bless others by being stay-at-home!

On Speaking Up

As a child, I was taught to "honor my parents." Which, in Sunday school terms, was translated to "obey your parents." And my parents definitely stressed the "obey." Obey without questions. Obey without giving your side of the story. Obey obey obey. By the time I was a college student, I had learned to follow the rules, keep my opinions to myself, and to doubt my own judgement.

I started my classes at UC Berkeley as the quiet "A" student who never said a word in class discussions. One day at the end of my education class, the teacher took me aside. 

"Rita, you should speak up. You have great thoughts to share!" she said.

Those words got me thinking. 

Flash forward thirty years.

I'm now a pastor's wife, and I'm content to be working "behind the scenes." But I have also pushed myself to speak up – to express myself and share my ideas and to point out wrong – when I need to. In my roles as wife and mother, this is crucial. Even my husband needs correction sometimes (don't we all?), and I cannot stand by silently in those situations.

Why am I writing this? Rita, get to the point! you're thinking.

Here's the point, and this may make some of you uncomfortable: Don't blindly follow and obey just because someone is in a position of authority. 

I'm talking to wives who are told to obey their husbands no matter what.

I'm talking to employees who see their bosses doing immoral things and are afraid to lose their jobs so they go along with it.

I'm talking to congregants who disagree with their church leaders, but push those itches aside because they figure "this person is a man of God."

I'm talking to citizens of this country who are saddened by what they see in our government right now.

A few years ago, I had to confront a church leader about things he was doing that I felt were hurting our church family. This was by far the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. But now I'm so glad I said something. This leader, instead of choosing to dialogue about the situation, accused me of sinning against him, which, in my opinion, only reveals a proud "I'm-always-right" spirit that is not what I want to see in a leader. He then resigned and left on his own accord.

No person is above God. It's as simple as that. So speak up.

New Children's Books!

I'm so excited to announce the publication of TWO new children's books! These have been a loooong time coming.

The new titles are Sand Socks and More Tales from the Bug Lost and Found. 

Sand Socks was a birthday present for my mother-in-law, who loved going to the beach with us. The story is simple and straightforward, just like a relaxing day at the beach. My sister painted beautiful watercolors to accompany the text; the waves and the animals just jump off the page! I had a draft of this book finished in 2019, but then our computer crashed and I had to start over. (I also got busy with other projects...) Now, seven years later, it's done!

The Bug Lost and Found started out as a silly story I told to my kids one day. Then I added a story, then another story, then another story! For Christmas that year, I made a little book of the four stories, with four illustrations by my husband. That was the year my husband was without work, so we were getting extra creative with Christmas presents. A few years later, I added a fifth story and my sister added her cute illustrations. The book was published in 2018, and just in time too! My daughter was born in March of 2018, and I started writing the sequel while I rested at the hospital! Now my daughter is 8, and the sequel, More Tales from the Bug Lost and Found, is finally ready to meet the world!

It's been a fun journey of publishing children's books. I have a non-fiction book coming later this year, but most of my time now is focused on writing plays and musicals. But if I'm ever inspired, maybe I'll write another children's book!

All three titles can be purchased on Amazon.com!

Sand Socks

Bug Lost and Found

More Tales from the Bug Lost and Found

Where “Yes" May Lead You

Twenty-seven years ago, God asked me to work with teenagers, and I said "yes."

There's a story that leads up to that moment (which I won't share with you today), but what was most surprising was:

1) I was twenty, so barely out of the teens myself,

2) I never had the desire to work with teens. In fact, I was a little afraid of them, having had not-the-best junior high and high school experience,

3) I had my doubts. I had no "training." I had no clear direction.

Nevertheless, I said "yes," without knowing where that "yes" would lead me.

Soon after, I started a leading a small youth group at my church.

After graduating from college, I was hired as a French teacher at a private junior/senior high school.

Then I got married, became a mom, and spent about the next twelve years or so NOT around teens. I was hanging out with other toddler moms, chatting it up about nap schedules and cloth diapers.

And I forgot about my "yes," until I got involved in my teenagers' youth theater company (how this happened is another great story).

What a shock! I never would have imagined that I would be teaching music to teens and directing them in shows. And the best part is that I love it! I love working with teenagers and being a supportive adult in their lives.

But along with the highs come the lows.

Two years ago, a lovely, spunky eleven-year-old came to audition for Moana Jr. She then went on to be in The Wizard of Oz and The Sound of Music, making many friends along the way. Shortly after her third show, she was diagnosed with brain cancer, and two weeks ago, she lost that battle. This was heart-breaking news for everyone in our company.

Twenty-seven years ago, I wouldn't have pictured myself in a bedroom, strumming a guitar through tears, leading a small group of girls in singing Christmas carols, witnessing the final moments of their friend's time on earth. I couldn't have imagined our time afterwards in the foyer, crying and holding each other for comfort. And I never would have known that in working with this young girl, I would be asked to sing songs with her friends at her memorial service.

Her service is tomorrow. I feel nervous and anxious. I put my two-year-old to bed, then lay next to her for a few extra moments just to pray. I ask God for peace. And I hear this song in my head.

This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine...

And that's all God is asking from me when I say "yes."

Our Enduring Christmas Tradition

From "Elf on the Shelf" to cookie exchanges, there are plenty of Christmas traditions to choose from. But for book lovers, this is an enduring tradition in my family that I'd love share with you! I started doing this when my oldest was 5, which means my family has been doing it for 17 years!

It's simple: I gather our Christmas picture books and check out Christmas picture books from the library and wrap them in Christmas wrapping paper. Then I put the books out, and every day one child will choose a book to unwrap. Then I read the book aloud.

That's it!

I usually wrap only a few books at a time (library books go first, and I try to reuse the paper if possible). If you wrap all 24 books beforehand, you have an Advent calendar! My children look forward to hearing their favorites, and we are also always on the look out for new favorites. And who doesn't like to pull off wrapping paper and see what's hidden underneath?

If you're looking for some wonderful Christmas books, here is the link to my post Our Favorite Christmas Books! 

There are so many beautiful Christmas stories out there; I hope you discover a few this year!

Christmas Memories, A Song

I had forgotten about my last blog post. 

"Sometimes, a writer writes just because..."

Now I wrote a song that I can't sing.

It's not because the notes are too difficult or the range is too high. It's because every time I try to sing it, tears start streaming down my face.

But I had to write it.

A few months ago, my friend told me that she has cancer. She is 36 years old. Then soon after, I learned that a young girl I know has cancer. She is 14.

My heart at times feels like it's held in a vise. I want to yell, but I have no words. When I visit, I see the parents smiling, but with a sad, tired look in their eyes. If my heart feels like it's in a vise at times, their hearts must feel like that every day. Day in and day out, around the clock, they are selflessly caring for their daughters, while knowing that there is no hope for recovery. I can't imagine the feeling of watching my child in pain, slowly becoming a shadow of the person I knew. I can't imagine how Christmas, usually a joyous time, will be for these families this year.

And so, I wrote this song. For them, for me, for you if you've lost a child. I find myself holding my little one closer these days. Remember, you have only so many Christmases with your children.

Christmas Memories

I have Christmas memories

Of you seated on my knee

As I read you stories in the glow 

of lights upon the tree

I have Christmas memories

Of the sound of little feet

Running to my bed to wake me 

with your laughter and your glee

Long ago

But it feels like yesterday

When I watched you run and play

Then I held you as you slowly slipped away

So many Christmas memories

Some are sad and some are sweet

Now my only Christmas wish is to hold you close 

Just like I used to do

And to make more Christmas memories with you

Writing a Memoir

Sometimes, a writer writes just because, without really knowing why. It's a way to get thoughts and emotions out.

I started doing that a few weeks ago. I felt prompted to write a memoir of sorts, but without knowing what I would do with it. I just wanted to put my memories down on paper, to sort through some details and record them before I forgot.

But I still wasn't sure what I would do with it once it was done. Writing a memoir is scary. It's my life on paper. But at the same time, it feels pointless. I'm no one special. This isn't going to the autobiography of Julie Andrews or Ghandi or something. Who would read it?

But then I remembered that I had the same thought fourteen years ago.

"Who would want to read what I wrote?!"

So I didn't write.

Until...

I realized that some of my thoughts could be a benefit to some people. Maybe not everyone. Maybe not all my thoughts. But someone out there could read what I write and have a revelation.

So I started a blog.

Anyway, fourteen years later, I'm finishing up my memoir of sorts. I'll let you know when it's ready, just in case you're someone who might want to read it.

Giving Children Freedom

As far as jobs and careers go, I never want my kids to feel like they need to live up to my expectations. They don't have to become pianists, they don't have to become doctors, they don't have to get a bachelor's or master's degree.

I want my children to have the freedom to succeed, in whatever way they choose to do.

But with the freedom to succeed comes the freedom to fail.

I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately, as I now have three adult children trying to make their way in the world. One chose not to continuing with schooling, one is working towards her bachelor's, and one is just starting out at a community college. And in all they do, I see them fearlessly try different things, and I've come to the conclusion that it's because they know that they will not be judged for trying and failing. They themselves have seen their dad and I work endlessly on creative projects, sometimes with success and sometimes not. We are not afraid to share our failures with our children.

And that makes a big difference.

Parents, be aware of your expectations (what is your definition of success?) and watch how you speak to your children about them. My parents encouraged me in my music, but still questioned me if I brought home anything less than an 'A' on my report card. I always felt like I couldn't do enough. Talk to your children about perseverance and diligence more than winning. Tell them that it's okay to try, and fail. Share your stories and listen to theirs. And please, share your stories here! Tell me about your experiences with failure and success, either as a child or as a parent.

Food for the Soul

During the Covid pandemic, I had a clear understanding of the purpose of art. Though most people had food and shelter during the lock-down, it wasn't enough. We aren't simply robots, needing a recharge and tune-up every now and then. We are human, we are souls, and art fed those souls. So my family and I painted cards to send to people and made music videos to share online. At that time, I understood that art was a necessity.

But somehow, this past year, I lost that understanding. I no longer had a clear vision of the "why" behind what I did. My head knew it, but my heart didn't. As I tried to think of ways to bring in more income to help my college-bound children, I felt more and more that artists were undervalued in society. Schools were cutting art and music programs. Tech and computer skills were desirable in the job market. I could make $25/hour teaching music, but if a fast-food employee makes $20/hour (new law here in California), then does that mean I'm worth a little more than a McDonald worker? (I know it's not the right question to ask, but that's where my heart was at the time.)

What made matters worst was that after I finished vocal directing The Wizard of Oz in June, I felt a big hole. I had spent months working on this beautiful show, and it was all over in four days. What was I doing? I asked myself. Is it all meaningless?

I needed someone to shine a light through my fog, so this morning I had breakfast with my friend KW (who was the director of The Wizard of Oz and my musical, Five Children and It.) As she talked about collaboration and worship and God and all things dear to her heart, she couldn't hold back her tears. I just sat and listened. 

Hours later, I thought about her words, and it was then that my fog lifted. This is the vision I have now:

The shows I work on are like apples (or fill in with your favorite fruit here.) Most people will eat an apple, appreciate it, and enjoy it in the moment. They probably will not think about where the fruit came from, beyond the grocery store they bought it at. I, on the other hand, was there before the apple even started growing. I cared for the tree, saw the blossoms, and tended the apples as they grew. I worked alongside the Creator to ensure a sweet, beautiful crop. And in the end, when I enjoyed a bite of the apple, I could think back to the day I first saw the tiny apple growing on the tree. And I could be proud of the work I've done, even after the apple is gone.

So now I see that being an artist is an amazing blessing, not a curse. The world may not value it as such, but that's okay. I'm working with God to cultivate food for the soul!

Friends, or "Friends"

When I was in the second grade, I learned an important lesson: how to win friends.

I had moved from Hong Kong to the United States just one year before.

Then after attending first grade in one school, my family moved to another part of town and I had to begin all over again at a different school.

So I found myself trying to break into established social circles while speaking a new language. I spent many lonely lunches by myself, chasing butterflies on the grass and biding my time until class started again. I honestly believed that if I could get a butterfly to sit on my hand, it would prove that I'm special in some way, and maybe my classmates would notice me too.

The butterflies never chose me. But it didn't matter. One day, I brought a pack of ramen noodles to school. But I didn't eat it in a bowl with warm water. Instead, I crushed up the noodles in the packaging, then opened the bag, took out the spice package, and shook the spices onto the bits of uncooked noodles. The result was a tasty, salty, crunchy treat, and soon I was a favorite among some of my classmates.

It didn't take me long to realize that as long as I brought ramen noodles to school, people paid attention to me at lunchtime. I knew that they weren't really my friends, but I didn't care. For five to ten minutes at lunch every day, I was not alone.

Funny how, many years later, memories like this suddenly come back to you. Second grade was nearly forty years ago. And this afternoon, as I was washing dishes, I realized that I still often think that my friends just want something from me. I don't expect people to truly want to be with me. Deep down, I still think that people like me only for what I can give them or do for them. I had learned this lesson as a little girl, but I had learned it too well.

Of course, I have friends who love me; they tell me so often. I just don't allow myself to believe it. And they aren't just Facebook "friends"–they bring me meals, check up on me, take my kids to the park so I can rest, and invite us over. But if I'm completely honest with myself, I still don't really believe that they love me just for being me. It shows in how I hold back sometimes–how I can't be open in conversations, or how I hesitate to ask for help. Forty years later, I have a lesson to unlearn. I myself need to work on being more than a "friend". 

In this present culture of social media, commuting, texting, and fast-paced living, true friendship–having a deeper connection with a person and loving him/her for who he/she is, not what he/she can do for us–is slowly fading away. If you want to fight this trend in your life, I recommend this book: Made for People: Why We Drift into Loneliness and How to Fight for a Life of Friendship, by Justin Whitmel Earley.

Who Does She Look Like?

When I look at you

I don't see your sister

Nor your brother

Nor your father

Nor even me

When I look at you

I see the Designer

the Artist

the Architect

the Sculptor

the Engineer

the Knitter

the Scientist

the Musician

the Writer

the One who gifted me with this work of art

and allowed me to hold His masterpiece

this six pound eleven ounce masterpiece

in my arms

Advice to Young Artists

I started teaching classes for my local branch of Christian Youth Theater in 2021. I never saw myself as a natural with teenagers (in high school, I always preferred to be with the children or sit with the adults), but I found myself really loving my time with the teens. In each young artist, I saw glimpses of my younger self: unsure and awkward, but eager to walk through open doors, if someone would just believe in me.

So I found ways to give bits of life advice in the midst of teaching singing technique and harmonies. I wanted these teens to know what I wish I had known at their age–what I wish someone had told me as I was learning to write, draw, paint, sing, and play the piano.

And that's what this post is about. I've written about creativity in one book, and about teenagers in another, and now I'll combine both loves and share with all young artists out there bits of advice that, I hope, will help them in their journey. I've also asked my artist friends to contribute (including my personal artistic heroes Ben Hatke and Sara Groves!!!), so scroll down to read their words of advice!

1) It's okay to copy...

I learned to draw and paint horses from copying drawings and paintings of horses. Studying someone else's work taught me to see the shapes, shadows, and colors that would be difficult for me to see on a live, moving horse (besides that I was living in Queens, New York, at the time, where there were no horses.) Once I understood how a horse was structured, I was able to try drawing horses on my own. Even so, professional artists work with models and reference photos all the time. It is not a requirement that you can draw everything from your head to be a good artist. Dancers, actors, musicians, writers... start by studying and copying the artists you admire. Now read on...

2) ... but find your own style.

When I hear young singers, oftentimes they want to sound just like the recording of their favorite singer. But the goal is to be a good singer, not a good mimic! As an artist, there is a point where you have to leave the safety net of copying and come up with your own creative ideas. Take the dance moves you learned and choreograph your own dance. If you like Billy Collins's poems, that's great, but mimic his style in your own voice. Don't sing like Ariana Grande; sing like YOU!

3) Try new focuses within your craft. 

If you love drawing animals (like me), also work on drawing people or objects (that's what I'm doing now). If you dance ballet, try tap or jazz. If you play classical music, learn to improvise by reading a lead sheet and playing from chord charts. In other words, don't get stuck on one thing. Don't be like "I only do graffiti style art, that's my thing." It may not come as easily as you like (jazz is still difficult for me to play), but by taking chances and stretching your mind, you'll also stretch your skills and be a more well-rounded artist.

4) Don't think in terms of winning or losing.

One of the biggest mistakes young artists make is believing that if they don't get the lead, or the solo, or the first place ribbon, they are a failure. Every attempt is worth taking.

5) It takes time, both long term and short term.

Another mistake young artists often make is waiting around for inspiration to hit. Learn to make your art a daily practice. When I was working on my musical, I did a little every day, no matter what. And it still took me years to finish it! And I was able to write it only after years of studying and practicing piano, music theory, composition, choral music, and writing. When I was a teenager, I would have NEVER imagined that I would be writing a musical in thirty years. I just saw piano playing as either a hobby or a chore. I am thankful now that my parents told me to practice the piano for an hour everyday! As I matured, I gave myself assignments: set this poem to music; harmonize this melody; write a short story using a given prompt. The key is to keep practicing your craft. For example, if you draw, carry a small sketchbook with you and rather than look at your phone while waiting for something, sketch your hand, your shoes, or your surroundings. When I started this blog, I set a goal to write something every week; that's when my writing really took off! And...

A few months ago I got an idea to dress birds up in clothes.
I didn't know if it would work, but I started sketching.... 

6) Don't worry so much about the final product.

Every project doesn't need to be a big, impressive final product. There are plenty of songs I never finished writing. Many drafts of stories that stayed drafts in my notebook. Pages and pages of sketches that were failed attempts at capturing an idea in my mind. The key is to just start and see where it takes you. Don't be afraid of the blank page. Don't keep your sketchbooks shiny and pristine. Remember that you are on a journey of learning and practicing, and every step you take, whether big or small, is moving you along!

7) MOST IMPORTANTLY: Do NOT compare yourself with others.

This was my biggest downfall. I spent my high school years constantly comparing. "She sings louder and higher than me." "His photos are so much more creative than mine." Now I know that there are certain things that a person can change about him/herself through learning, and there are certain things that a person cannot change. For singers, your physical structure dictates somewhat how high or low or loud you can sing. Some people are naturally loud. I, on the other hand, am naturally quiet. With training, I've exercised my voice to be louder and stronger, but I can only reach a certain level of loudness before I start hurting myself. And I will never be able to sing the high notes my daughter can sing–she's a natural soprano, and I am not. Again, I've trained my voice to reach some of the higher notes, but I physically cannot even squeak out a high C. So why waste my time lamenting over what I cannot do?! Other things that I can't do well (or at all): dance, play sports, play the violin, whistle, juggle. And that's okay. Nowadays, we hear this message: You can be anything you want to be. The truth is, I will never be a Major League baseball player or a ballerina, no matter how hard I work at it. But I can focus on what I'm good at, develop the talents God has given me, and become the best writer/artist/musician I can be. And be grateful everyday that I get to do what I love! 

(AND WHATEVER YOU DO, STAY OFF OF SOCIAL MEDIA! DON'T WATCH VIDEOS OF THE FIVE-YEAR-OLD PRODIGY OR TWELVE-YEAR-OLD CELEBRITY AND COMPARE YOURSELF TO THEM!! DON'T DO IT!!!)

And now, some excellent advice from other artists...

Aaron Anderson
Photographer
andersonvisuals.com

What you are going to experience is more fun and beautiful than you can ever imagine, you will do things and see things that are inspiring in every way, most of which are once in a lifetime and few people will ever experience. It will also be one of the hardest things you've ever done, there will be moments where you question your own sanity, where nothing makes sense and it feels like everything is falling apart. You will have to hold on, and believe in what you're doing even when there is no logical explanation or evidence that you aren't a crazy person. In the end you need to make sure you enjoy every moment, don't get so caught up in what others are doing and what you don't have, and allow yourself to drink in the experiences that you've been given.

Joanna Crawshaw Miller
Painter/Visual Artist
joannacrawshaw.com

Never stop learning.

Don't be afraid to try something new.

Surround yourself with other creatives, including older creatives.

Go see shows, plays, concert, etc.

Keep your eyes open; inspiration comes from everywhere.

Camden Daly
Pianist/Accompanist/Conductor/Composer

Stay patient. You are going to learn so many things... things will come your way.

Jana Gehring
Painter/Visual Artist
leafbyjana.com

Don't be so afraid of looking different or slowing 'everyone' down that you ignore the desires you have to play with paint and pencil.

You'll almost never feel "ready" or that things are "finished". Frame them/finish them anyway, and learn what you can to keep going.

Spend as much time as you can playing and learning from your materials and techniques and methods. You'll never regret the time you spent learning to draw or paint something new, or learning a new medium. It's all building blocks you can use later.

You can do a lot more with 15 minutes a day, most of the time, than you can with 4 hour blocks once a week. Don't let "I only have a bit of time–it's not worth it" stop you.

Sara Groves
Singer/Songwriter/Recording Artist
saragroves.com

Don't edit yourself. You can't play the role of producer and songwriter in your head at the same time. There has to be a point in the process where you let it ALL out, unedited. You might edit later on, but you have to be in no-idea-is-a-bad-idea mode when you are creating.

Don't teach; bear witness. The songs that move me are just bearing witness to what is true about life. Even in a song that is written for advocacy–if I feel like my story telling is devolving into finger wagging, or a sales pitch, I back and rework.

Songwriting is not prose. It doesn't have to be linear or make sense in story-form. Sometimes a collection of words evoke emotion and create a setting better than any word-for-word description.

"God is the ocean and we keep writing about a cup of water." Producer Charlie Peacock told me this years ago, and it has stayed with me. The subjects for songs are everywhere, inexhaustible.

Ben Hatke
Author/Artist/Illustrator/Fire Eater
benhatke.com

Making art consists of two skills–the skill of *making* and the skill of *sharing*. How you combine those two skills is up to you. For instance you could use the Emily Dickinson Method, where you write poetry every day, very well, and put it all in drawers to be discovered after your death. You could also work like a performance artist, making art live and up close before your audience with every bit of your process on display.

When I was in college I enjoyed making a series of stores I called "Bathroom Comics." These were sheets of paper I would tack up to the wall in our dormitory bathroom and I would add a little bit to the story every time I was in there. My roommates loved it (I enjoyed hearing them laugh when they were using the facilities).

Both making and sharing have their challenges and can be scary. You have to make a habit of both (even if you are using the Emily Dickinson Method you have to form the habit of always putting the poem in the drawer).

I think you have to practice *every day*. As the painter Apelles (4th century BC) said: "never a day without a line." So keep those sketchbooks! Scribble those half-formed ideas. Learn every day and don't worry if your drawings are "perfect."

Genoa McDowell Sperske
Dancer/Choreographer/Director

Trust that you - as you are, as God made you - are enough. There will be people tearing you down as you learn your craft. Always take the opportunity to learn, but don’t let critiques lead you to change your spirit. You have something to offer the world. Find teachers who see that and guide you to develop the great things about you. Find the right balance between being strong in who you are and being teachable and open to self-development.

Find the space that is right for you. If you feel like your artistic community isn’t aligning with your personal convictions or isn’t emotionally healthy, find a new one. Or move into a different aspect of your art that supports you mentally, emotionally, spiritually. For example, if the competitive nature of auditioning as a performer feels like it’s weighing on you emotionally, try teaching for a little while. Take care of your soul to become a better artist. 

Remember that your worth doesn’t come from your art - what you produce, what role you land, etc. God gave you a special gift, but He would love you just the same without it. Your worth is in the fact that God made you and loves you. Try not to find your identity in your art. 

Humility and empathy go a long way in the arts. People and relationships are more important than the art you produce. Making art together is one of the most amazing feelings and you can’t have a positive experience making art with others without humility and empathy.

Bottom line - Stay true to yourself, be teachable, don’t find your worth and identity in your art, stay humble. 

Martha McDowell
Actor/Singer/Musician

Commit the gifts God has given them to Him and make Him an audience of One in both your preparations and performances. Work at your gift striving to please Him primarily. He will comfort you when you are disappointed in some aspect of your art whether it's not getting a role or making a mistake in a music recital. Because God has a plan for every aspect of your life you can trust Him to develop whatever area of art He has blessed you with. If you glorify God in your attitude and effort He will bless you. I know this from direct experience.

Alyssa Penman
Paper and Fiber Artist

It is enough to create what I do because it brings me joy. Comparison is the thief of joy and it is so true when you are one among so many talented artists. Also, it isn't foolish or crazy to want to make a living from creative pursuits. Maybe if I had pushed on when I was younger it would be easier to find my niche.

Heather Warren
Dancer/Choreographer/Actor/Singer

Trust your instincts and don't be afraid to try something new! Personally, my biggest regret in life was passing up a job with East Bay Parks as a Naturalist-in-training for what now seems like silly reasons. I'm trusting that God is using my decisions to place me exactly where I should be, but there were times I was afraid to jump into the new and unknown. Don't be afraid to try and fail!

A Fickle Gut

A short post today. This is what I was thinking about in the wee early hours as I lay in bed...

My gut is broken.

And by gut, I don't mean my intestinal insides that be can fixed by changing my diet and ingesting more probiotics, or my changes in appetite throughout the nine months of pregnancy. I mean the instinct inside me that is supposed to guide me through life. Somewhere along the way, during my childhood years, between moving so often, being bullied, not feeling affirmed enough, growing up in the Chinese tradition–a myriad of things–my "guide" broke.

Sometimes "following your gut" is a good thing, but in my case, I would be in a world of trouble, because my gut is not always trustworthy. 

I would take my small revenge–my gut tells me,"You deserve it. He/she owes it to you."

I would be fearful of everything–my gut says, "Something out there will hurt you or your child."

I would doubt myself all the time–my gut whispers, "Don't try it. You'll probably fail." or "Rita, you made a mistake... again."

I would avoid conflict–my gut screams, "Run away! Protect yourself!"

We are broken people living in a broken world. Life happens–the good and the bad–and most of the time, my jerk reaction to the bad is just not reliable. This is a lesson I need to learn again and again: trust in the Word, trust the Holy Spirit's promptings, and trust people I know in the family of God. When I get lax and overly confident in my own abilities, I go with my emotions; then without realizing it, I may choose to take the easy route, the route of self-preservation. But that route is not always the right route. 

Overriding my natural responses and emotions is not easy. It's an uncomfortable place to be–sometimes it's downright painful!–but it's better than listening to the fickleness of my gut.

Ready to Meet Baby!

It's been a busy end to our summer. We squeezed in some fun days at the beach and friends' swimming pools, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, we sent one daughter off to college in faraway North Carolina, I worked extra hours to help pay for her schooling (and the increase in our rent in an already overpriced housing market), and we started another year of homeschooling.

But lately, I haven't felt very productive. I have projects awaiting me, but I'm achy and tired by the end of the day. Then I remind myself that it's okay to allow myself to focus on simply being mom to my nine children right now.  At 34 weeks pregnant, I'm telling myself, "You're making a baby. That's productive."

And I'm still in awe of this whole process. The ninth time is not any less magical than the first. When I wake in the middle of the night to the feel of my little girl's strong kicks in my abdomen, I am still taken by surprise at this whole process!

Nine months ago, this person did not exist except in the mind of her Creator.

I'm making in me something that is far more complex than anything Man could ever make, and yet, I am not doing the making; I am simply the vessel. The making is happening on its own.

This new person is in me, but a person all her own. She wakes when I sleep, she moves when I lay down, she is her own being. And... she responds to piano music. When I'm teaching piano lessons, it's like she's dancing inside of me. I love that.

We are eagerly counting down the weeks until we get to meet this new person. Baby clothes are ready, carseat and diapers are ready... I just need a bassinet from a friend and then we're good to go. And I am eagerly counting down the days when I'm no longer pregnant! Because not only does that mean I can wear my old clothes again and eat a normal diet again, I can hold my ninth child in my arms for the first time!

My New Book!

Many years ago, when I had five children age 11 and under, I wrote my first book. It was based on hilarious and profound things my children would say, full of stories of life in the Baird house. 

Now, there are EIGHT children, ranging from age 5 to 19. You can imagine the conversations we have! There are plenty of quibbles about who should be first, or the lack of personal space in our house, but most of the conversations are just hilarious, silly, and oftentimes, charming.

My new book is full of stories of my family. You'll meet my children. You'll get a glimpse of our homeschooling life, and how we manage with only two bathrooms. Here's a sneak peak:

You may think that homeschooling eight kids is tough, but remember that with homeschooling, I don't need to drop off or pick up or deal with homework ("because it's all homework," my kids would say.)

And really, when my littles are simply following and doing what their older siblings are doing, may job's not tough at all! I  teach science, history, and foreign language to all the children, regardless of age. We truly do have a one-room schoolhouse!

But I have found over the years that not every child catches (or remembers) everything I teach. The younger children pick up a lot, but they don't always make the right connections. So just because we've covered geology or US history once doesn't mean that I won't have to teach it again in a few years.

Mom: Do you know what punctuation is?
Tovi: Yes, I know what it is!
Mom: What is it?
Tovi: It's when you have a ballon, like a blimp, and there's a hold in it, and the air comes out.

I couldn't figure out what Tovi meant until Arianna came in and said "Do you mean a 'puncture'?"

Looks like it's time for a short lesson in periods, commas, questions marks, and exclamation points.

You can order my book through Amazon. Just click on the link below!

From the Mouths of Babes ... and Teenagers

On Being Pregnant

I only realized today that I have never written about pregnancy. Probably because in the past, whenever I was pregnant, I was also trying to keep up with a toddler. And truthfully, I've never given much thought to pregnancy. I just accepted it "as is". Even now, if someone asks me how I'm feeling (6 months pregnant at this point), I usually just say with a smile, "Like I'm carrying a bowling ball in my stomach."

But my emotions are much more complex than that. It's a "bowling ball" that is depending on me for life. And so far, this baby is pretty mellow, so every other night I wake up in a panic, wondering if she is still alive because I hadn't notice movement since the afternoon.

And though I KNOW that I'm not "fat", I can't help but be self-conscious about how this "bowling ball" makes me look. Clothes don't fit like they used to. People say I look "glowing" and "beautiful", but most of the time, I don't feel like that. I'm tired. My legs and ankles ache. If I don't wear compression tights, the veins on my legs bulge (I apologize in advance for the gross imagery) like I have slugs and worms living under my skin.

Simply put, I don't feel like myself.

But then again, that's because I am NOT myself. I am, in fact, two people right now.

And maybe that's the whole point. These nine months before the baby is born puts me in a place of discomfort and inconvenience–to say the least–which forces me to be less self-centered. It's not all about me. Just as it will not be all about me when this child is born. Can I put myself aside during these months, before this tiny human arrives and I have to put myself aside even more? And for my husband–this is training time to care for me more as I go through nausea and pain and self-doubt. He is my encouragement, now and for the months and years ahead.

So rather than treating these months of pregnancy as a waiting period, impatiently whining and griping while the baby is "just growing", I can learn to enjoy this time as a period where God is growing ME. 

Surprises From God

I'll cut to the chase. We're expecting Baby #9 in October.

When I had my first prenatal appointment, the doctor asked what is now a routine question, "Was this a planned pregnancy?"

I said, "No, not exactly."

"And you plan to keep this baby?"

"Yes," I answered, when what I really wanted to say was, "HECK YES!" (pardon my language)

Before the baby was bigger than a grape, before we found out if the baby is a boy or a girl (it's a girl!), before I ever saw her wiggling on the ultrasound, I cared for this human.

My husband and I were not expecting another child. After all, I'm 44 years-old. My youngest is now 5. I had become really good at tracking my ovulation cycle, and then...

God surprised us.

And this all happened RIGHT BEFORE the opening of my musical. Not the best timing.

And yet, it was my musical that helped me wrap my head (and heart) around this surprise.

I didn't expect to get pregnant, just as I didn't expect to write a musical. And if I saw Five Children and It as a gift from God, entrusted to me to bring to fruition and share with the world, how much more can this child be a gift?! God surprised me with 3+ years of working on a musical, and if I said "No" to him at the start, I would have never experienced the joy that the musical brought me. And that is how I see this child. There will be years of work involved, but the joys will outshine the work.

Children, ALL children, are a gift. It sounds clichéd, but I must say it, because I hear parents, Christians and non-Christians alike, complain about their children. Some people (Christians and non-Christians alike) think I'm crazy to have nine children. They see children as a chore and an inconvenience. I admit that in my younger years, I would have been whining to God at this point, "How am I going to handle another one? When will I have time to do the things I want to do?" 

But children are people, and we need to fight the urge to think of the people in our lives as "inconveniences." Let us love as God loves us; we are God's children, and we are NEVER an inconvenience to Him. 

A Musical is Born! -Part 17- The End?

The cast recordings are not yet done. We spent 2 days–nearly 8 hours–in the studio getting every cast member on the recording. Now it's time to edit, balance, fix, and maybe add some instruments (everything was sung to piano only.)

And I still need to update the script, librettos, and all scores to reflect the changes we made in perfecting the show. I want to have the new scripts, scores, and recordings ready for another theater group. I would love for Five Children and It to live on on other stages. And I would love to see the other versions of it!

As I reflect back on the whole process, I am still in awe. I feel like the show was handed to me... I opened my hand to receive it, and there it was. Not that I didn't spend hours at the piano searching for the perfect "magic" sound, or restless nights working out a stubborn lyric in my mind, but I feel like the pieces came together so effortlessly. I can't really tell you how it happened! God gave me a mind that can solve musical/theatrical puzzles! Where I was doubting myself months ago (constantly asking myself, "Is this good? Will people like it?") now I know that I have a good sense of balance, pacing, and musical lines. Something I didn't know about myself a year ago! (which goes to show that life doesn't stop when you have kids or when you turn 40! There are always opportunities to learn and try something new. I say, go through those doors, especially when God is inviting you to do so!)

And I am still in awe of the community that came around me. This musical was like my heart on my sleeve. There was a bit of me in every character. All the "Lessons Learned" were lessons I had learned in my life, and hope that my children will learn. That was what I wanted to give the world–beautiful, Godly life lessons presented in a format that made it easier to digest. "A spoonful of sugar," as Mary Poppins would sing. I really wanted the show to be more than just entertaining. And everyone, from my artistic team members to the actors to the parents who worked behind the scenes, saw that too, and treated the musical like my newborn baby. I cannot thank them enough.

So what's next, besides all the work I still have cut out for me? Well, I have the first drafts of a script and songs for a new musical. I'm a little nervous about this one, because it's very different from Five Children and It, but I'm also so excited about. So back to step one for me! Writing, rewriting, a read-through, rewriting again... and maybe in a year or two you'll hear about the birth of another musical!